You're the Only Drug I Need
by Undead Author
Summary: artie meets tina's parents and crazy hijinks ensue! haha tina/artie.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I absolutely love Tina/Artie. They're my fave. (:**

I'm at my locker and Tee is helping me put away my books, when all of a sudden she's like, "Artie, I want you to meet my parents."

And I'm all, "Uhm?"

She goes on, saying that we've been dating for four months (and two weeks but I'm certainly not counting) and she thinks it's time we meet each other families.

"Tina," I begin, "your parents scare the crap out of me."

"But they shouldn't!" she protests as she takes my hand and squeezes it. "Artie, they're really sweet, they're just hard on me. Please? For me?"

That gets me. I would do anything for her and she knows it.

"I—alright, Tee. I'll do it… for you."

She smiles so big that I just have to smile back. But after she kisses my cheek, tells me she'll see me after school, and walks away, I am an inch away from losing it. Tina's parents… they're _insane_. And when I say insane I mean like Keanu Reeves crazy. They've actually planned out Tina's entire life. Step one: Graduate with all A's and a 7.0 GPA or some such crap. Step two: Go to Ivy League college, study to be doctor or lawyer. Step three: Marry Nice Asian Man.

Guess who's not Asian? Me. I'm not even _close_; my ancestors are from Scandinavia! I do not fit in with the pre-planned outline. I don't even get a Roman numeral.

And I don't think she's even told her parents about us. _Crippled_ Scandinavian boyfriend? No. No way. Wringing my hands in Algebra 2, I'm thinking of all the ways me meeting her parents could be disastrous. I might not be able to get in the door. I might say something stupid. They could hate me and tell me to never speak to her again. For _three hours_ I worry about what could go wrong.

The bell rings and I'm pretty sure I've aged 15 years in the last two hours. In the hallway, Tina practically skips to me. "I'm so glad you're gonna meet my parents, Artie!" She kisses me and hugs me and _holy crap I've got to meet her parents._

I'm not ready for this.

**Ohnoooo! What kind of shenanigans will Artie get into with Mr. and Mrs. Cohen-Chang? We shall see! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the alerts and reviews! I really appreciate it. (: This is from Tina's point of view. I plan on switching back and forth, every other chapter.**

I'm not entirely sure what I hope to accomplish by inviting Artie to meet my mom and dad. Maybe they'll see how awesome he is and how much I love him and accept it?

…yeah not gonna happen. They don't even know I _have_ a boyfriend, and since he's not the, like, perfect guy they have in mind, I know they're going to hate him. Really, the only reason I want them to get to know Artie is so they can see that I am capable of having a life outside of the one they've planned for me. They think I approve of everything they've set out, but really I hate it. I want to maybe be a fashion designer, or an artist, not a doctor. And I've tried to tell them, but they just laugh it off as teenaged delusions.

They're nice parents, really. Just a little insane.

I don't blame Artie for being scared of them. The only time he's even spoken to them was after our "Push It" performance, which got me seven shades of hell from them anyway. He wheeled up to me while I was arguing with my mother about the dancing.

"Hi, Tina," he smiled and waved at me in the incredibly adorable way he does.

I smiled back and turned to my mom, who wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she was staring at his wheelchair and not him or me. "Uhm, Mom, this is Artie Abrams. He's my friend."

She didn't say anything, and Artie tilted his head. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Cohen-Chang."

She ignored this and said, "You're very adept at dancing. For, you know, being crippled."

I wanted to kill myself, or my mother, or both. "_Mom!_" I hissed, completely mortified.

But Artie, being Artie, smiled it off. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

I could have kissed him.

Anyway, back in the present. After fourth block, I put on a brave face and find Artie. I lie through my teeth and tell him I'm glad he's gonna meet my parents, and to distract myself from _oh my gosh he's gonna meet my parents_ I kiss him.

I really hope he's ready for this.

**Parallels are fun, teehee.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I imagine Mr. Abrams as a less abrasive and more loving Henry Spencer from **_**Psych**_**. Hahaha. **

"Dad?" I say, rolling up to my father after dinner. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Artie." He's washing dishes with his sleeves rolled up. I always looked up to my dad (literally and figuratively) because directly after The Accident, he had been the only one in my family to treat me normally but acknowledge the wheelchair. Mom, for a few months, spoke to me only in whispers, like she thought anything _too loud _could send me over the crippled edge. But they got over it.

Anyway, I truck on, saying, "Well, you know how I'm dating Tina right?"

He gives me a look of pleased surprise. "You are? Good for you, son. She was coming over here so often I wasn't sure, but… good for you."

I smile nervously. "Thanks. But, uhm, she wants me to meet her parents."

"So?"

"So… Dad, they're like, legitimately crazy." I explain to him about the outline and my previous experience with Mrs. Cohen-Chang.

He chuckles. "Son, everyone's in-laws are various degrees of insane. You think I _loved_ meeting your mom's parents? Heck no, I didn't! At the end of the dinner her father asked me if I had ever killed a man with a paperclip. A paperclip!"

I have to laugh at this.

"Point is, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Maybe her mom is a bit prejudiced, and maybe her parents have over-the-top expectations, but to me that just says they're parents who don't know exactly how to handle teenagers. That doesn't make them bad people."

I frown. "But…"

He shakes his head. "Artie, the only thing I can tell you is to dress nice and try to make a good impression, because if you marry this girl you're gonna be stuck with 'em."

The man has a point. I sigh and reach up to help him dry the plates and glasses. We have a good thing going for a few minutes until he stops, turns to me and says, "Do you love this girl?"

I blink and almost drop the bowl I'm holding. "Do I—do I _love_ her?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I mean…" I think about her and the classifications I've read in books and seen in movies about being in love. Butterflies every time I look at her: check. Would do anything for her: yep. Think about her all the time: uh-huh. I looked up at him. "I guess I do, yeah."

He nods thoughtfully. "Good."

I'm glad I have this talk with him, because I'm feeling just a little bit better about meeting her parents.

**Sorry this chapter took so long. (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Two more chapters of hilarity!**

My lower lip is almost gone because I have been gnawing on it all evening. I am so incredibly nervous—and Artie isn't even meeting my parents yet. I'm just working up my courage to ask them if he can come to dinner. What should I say? Should I tell them the truth that he's my boyfriend? Or should I just say he's a friend and avoid all physical contact with him?

I sigh and gather my courage to talk to them at dinner that night.

_So, Mom, Dad, I'm dating this guy, and you should meet him._

_Hey! Funny story! I'm in love!_

This isn't going to work out at all.

As we sit down to eat vegetarian lasagna, I decide to not beat around the bush. "So, guys, you know my friend Artie?"

My mom snaps her head toward me. "The boy in the wheelchair?"

_Oh, no. She remembers._ "Uhm, yeah, him." _Do it do it do it do it. _"I was… I mean, I was wondering— can he come over for dinner this Friday?"

My father's eyes narrowed. "Are you dating this boy? This… Artie? Tina, you shouldn't focus on boys right now. You need to work on your grades so you can—"

"—get into a good college, I know, Dad."

"Your father is right; you shouldn't start dating until _at least_ after you are accepted into college and start a decent job, in a medical or law field."

I roll my eyes. "But what if I don't want to get a job in a _medical or law field_? I told you guys, I like art!"

Dad shook his head. "We aren't discussing this right now, Tina. Are you dating him or not?

"… no, I'm not dating him." I wince inwardly. I can't believe I don't have the balls to stand up to them. "He's just a friend. I just want you guys to meet him, please?"

They exchanged A Look before my mom cautiously says, "I suppose, Tina… He can eat with us."

I smile as much as I can right now, which albeit isn't very much. "Thanks. I… I really appreciate it."

I am so not glad we talked because I'm feeling ten times worse about Artie meeting my parents.

**It's so shooooort, I'm sorry. ): I feel like I copped you guys out, but my muse is taking a day off, I guess. **


End file.
